Sunday, May 27, 2012

#282. Play Laser Tag in Suits


On Friday night it was time to become Legendary.

Perhaps you're not aware of Barney Stinson, Neil Patrick Harris' (the greatest entertainer of our generation) character on How I Met Your Mother.

He wears suits. He plays laser tag.
He is an idol to millions.

Let me show you.



+


=


Be Jealous.

In homage to Barney (and because it's awesome) Christian, Patrick Lord, and I went to XP Laser Sport in Laurel, MD to engage in some good old fashioned laser tag dressed to the nines. Patrick looked ready for a Jazz Club, Sully looked like a secret agent, and I looked like I was ready for a Bar-Mitzvah. The walls were lined with bad arcade games and memorobilia dedicated to past laser tag champions. Looking at the past stars of our sport I knew we could not compare with the skills of Greyskull or Deathwolf or CyberMcSweeney or whatever their names were. But we weren't just here for Laser Tag.

We were here for Blazer Tag.

We played two 15 minute sessions, and unfortunately our team lost both times. This due to an army of small children on the opposing team who clearly don't yet understand how to properly respect their elders by not creaming them in laser tag. Barnacle (or Patrick) was our team leader in points both games. He's a vet, so that's to be expected. In college he used to have an annual laser tag in suits competition every Valentines day. I did, however, tag one dude 118 times in one game. Even I feel that's excessive.

Sorry, seven year old.

Highlights definitely included the little kid who kept yelling "Superman!" everytime he nailed someone. I love that kid.

There was also a little guy who would walk up saying "I'm on your team!" whenever we were in spy mode (we played spy mode, yo), and was shocked that Christian picked up on it after the third time and shot him. This happened every time. There was also the 'Get Back' dude, who kept telling us to "get back", gun drawn, like we were in the wild west and he was protecting his trailmates crossing the creek. Everyone was legitimately impressed by our suits. We received many compliments. I think we even inspired the next generation.

It was awesome.

By the end we were DRENCHED in sweat. It doesn't look so bad in this picture until you see the one ring of dry cloth around my collar and realize what color the shirt is supposed to be.

Yeah, gross level sweat.


A hard fought battle over, we immediately strode next door to Hooters, walking in like conquering heros. Because if there was any doubt, let me put it to rest - being covered head to toe in sweat, wearing your sunday best, having just rocked laser tag and sitting at Hooters ordering a Dreamsicle is the classiest Friday night you can have.

Nailed it.



Friday, May 25, 2012

#221. Watch All of AFI's Top 100 Movies of All Time - Easy Rider


A few nights ago I met up with my Flying V Managing Director Jon Rubin and his girlfriend Hannah to move forward on #221 - Watching all 100 of the AFI Greatest 100 Movies of All Time. After some deliberation we've decided, and this is a change, that I'm going to watch all the movies on both the original list and the 2008 update, as there have been people making strong cases for both list to be the definitive one. Hannah is a major cinephile with a pretty extensive collection of films, and we were able to amass a pretty substantial pile of AFI movies I haven't seen yet. We decided that evening's film by way of a Movie Draft.

THE POWER OF THE DRAFT

The Movie Draft is a long-standing tradition in these parts, a bond of honor among participants, a low cost battle for pride and entertainment. In most cases each participant picks three movies out of a larger collection to submit to the draft itself. After all these movies are entered, three rounds commence in which everyone takes out a movie they don't want to watch that night. Finally one film remains which, theoretically, no one did not want to watch. This film is the main event for the evening, and it is a solemn bond and promise that once a draft starts ALL participants will stay through to watch the film in its entirety, no matter what it is. It's a matter of great personal pride to win a draft, and I've heard of a number of drafts that have become host to intense political maneuvering and rivalries. Unlikely winners have forced themselves on large crowds of unsuspecting men and women.

Choose carefully, and remember to play the movies just as much as your opponents.

This draft was somewhat different, as we included every available option from the AFI list I had not seen, rather than personally choosing entrants. The field was a strong one, including Fargo, 12 Angry Men, and Some Like It Hot. The draft is a powerful thing, though, and the sole survivor ended up as Easy Rider.

I can honestly say, based on the moods and expectations of the crowd that night, that I sincerely doubt Easy Rider would have been the winner if ANY one of us understood how different the actual film was compared to the vision in our heads.

That's the power of the draft, baby.

WHAT A WEIRD MOVIE

I'm not nearly as sophisticated a film-goer as I am to when it comes to Theater, Comics, and Professional Wrestling - where my knowledge is extensive and my tastes run from the mainstream to the fringe, experimental, and independent. But similar to my love of Music, I think my appreciation and understanding of the art is at least a bit wider than simply the mainstream - deeply rooted in the popular culture but with a strong appreciation and knowledge of certain out of the way niches. Maybe I'm not nearly as developed a viewer as I'd like to imagine myself to be, though, because this film left me in a bit of a daze. While there were a number of strong moments that made an impression, it never felt like more than the sum of it's parts. I spent most of the first half waiting for 'something to happen.' Then things did happen, in violent and high speed fashion, but I still didn't really care. I just never got invested. It was a lot of style but maybe, or especially, compared to my expectations it left me a bit cold.

It's a weird, weird film, man.

MAN, WE ALL STILL SUCK

The most powerful lesson from the film is that now, some 50 years later, so little has changed. Ugh. Maybe dumb rednecks don't shoot Hippies in the street anymore (or maybe they do and we just hear about it less), but the spirit that 'different is sub-human' still exists every time there is a gay beating in Columbia Heights or a radio show host berates a woman for wanting birth control, or now ESPECIALLY people blaming Hoodies for murders. Maybe America was once a great country, like Jack Nicholson says in the film, but man has that promise been squandered in so many ways. I appreciate that we have it better than a lot of places, and we do, but as a culture we make so many excuses for some many backwards philosophies it leaves me extraordinarily aggravated.

The targets may be different but the hate is the same.

PETER FONDA

Dude is a good looking man. Just sayin'.

SOUNDTRACK

This is one of the first movies to incorporate a soundtrack of pre-existing recordings rather than a dedicated original score, and in that arena it's a big success. The music adds substantially to the film, and particularly by way of it's placement. I was listening to the soundtrack on it's own while writing part of this post and was much less impressed. In conjunction with the film, though, it rocked.

THE BROWN BUNNY

The Brown Bunny is a truly horrendous film I watched several years ago, and while it still sucks, having seen Easy Rider I now understand what it was trying to do a LOT better. Providing even a bit of closure to the Brown Bunny experience is what I'm really going to take away most from Easy Rider.

The Brown Bunny is a film by Writer/Director/Actor/Narcissist Vincent Gallo which famously includes a scene where Chloe Sevigny performs genuine tongue on penis oral sex on Gallo on camera. He stars in, wrote, and directed the film, and gets head from Sevigny on film in what I have to assume is the ultimate Artiste power trip. Good work if you can get it, I guess.

Somewhat, and maybe only somewhat, less notoriously The Brown Bunny is the story of an interminable road trip taken by Gallo's motorcycle riding character across the country (the similarities begin here) to potentially meet up with a woman named Daisy. For MORE THAN AN HOUR we have loooooooong shots of Gallo riding a motorbike in circles on a track, or in a car, or shaving if I remember correctly. Occasionally a song plays. Genuinely - NOTHING HAPPENS. I mean it. Nothing. There are three scenes in the first 2/3 of this movie with any dialogue, plot movement, anything, in which he meets three other woman with flower names. One, he almost takes with him. That scene, when it happens, feels fucking monumental because it is A) more than a minute or two minutes long (maybe - time becomes fuzzy during Brown Bunny, like being caught in a black hole in slow motion while also waiting for a blow job) and B) Something almost, sort of happens. These three scenes combined make up maybe ten minutes out of over 60 minutes of footage. Maybe longer.

It is excruciating.

Then, at the end, you're suddenly blind sided by the most intense thirty minutes of film, maybe ever. Gallo meets up with Daisy (Sevigny) and gets his onscreen blowjob, all the while crying and screaming and ranting bloody murder at her for leaving him and fucking some other dude, while aggressively pushing her head down as she sucks him off. It is really, really intense and primal stuff. Then after he talks about how she fucked these other dudes at a party, she reveals the truth - he walked in on her being horifically gang raped and left her there, rather than DO ANYTHING. We see this gang rape in pretty precise detail too. He finally realizes what a terrible, terrible person he's been only to discover that she DIED FROM THE RAPE and he has been blown by a ghost figment.

Then he heads out and starts driving again.

Long shot.

Holy Shit.

I may have gotten some of these details wrong as I'm going from memory based on watching this once about four years ago, but it has been indelibly scratched into my mind since. Those last 30 minutes are some of the rawest, most primal and savage moments I have EVER seen on film, and it comes after you have been bludgeoned into a semi-conscious near comatose state from watching the filmic equivalent of paint drying. We are talking 0 to 60 in the span of time it gets for Gallo to get an erection and have a breakdown and man, it's quick.

Honestly, describing it, it sounds kind of brilliant in its own mind fuck way - only you, as the viewer, are the one getting fucked. Chloe Sevigny too, I guess, and watching this movie did feel somewhat like Gallo tricked me into sucking his metaphorical director cock as well. At the end of a different movie that on camera blowjob could have even been earned, it's that powerful an image juxtaposed with his verbal diatribe. The rape scene is one of the most brutal and horrific reveals ever, and if it had been the culmination of some kind of journey then maybe this extraordinary vision of cruelty from all sides could have been something more than a shocking horror story. But it's not. It's 30 minutes of Avant Garde Torture Porn, only the porn is real, and the torture is not fantastical at all, and the setup was a meandering medley of 'The Road.'

It is a really terrible film.

But now, after watching Easy Rider, I see what he was trying to do, or emulate, or at least the inspiration. Because from a formal perspective, Brown Bunny is like Easy Rider on horse steroids. It's so clearly trying to be the Easy Rider of a MUCH more cynical generation filtered through both a desire to be 'indie' for the sake of being so and a clear narcissist at the helm. As we already know, Easy Rider is not all that optimistic a movie to start. It's a pretty strong condemnation of America. Maybe Brown Bunny is trying to be a condemnation of humanity in its entirety. In that respect, it may succeed admirably.

There is that same sense of 'when is something going to happen?' that Easy Rider pulls off much more charmingly. The same cross country journey, with a focus on 'The Road' as a place of its own. Long shots of riding with music playing. Really heavy shit just kind of exploding out of the landscape. Even Daisy as an imaginary figment can track back to the Easy Rider acid trip scene. But what Easy Rider tries for, I'm not sure it even succeeds in. Brown Bunny takes out everything that takes Easy Rider watchable or enjoyable (a likable protagonist with a moral center, really interesting supporting performances, some nice little character moments) and replaces them with the unending stylistic quirks that makes ER such an odd little piece of cinema, and nothing but Gallo.

As failed an attempt as it is, I finally understand the actual cinematic basis behind The Brown Bunny - a mystery I never knew I needed to solve.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Building a Better Batmobile


So, I'm back.

I'm hoping not to leave this time.

When I started this blog close to a year ago I had just been dumped by my longtime girlfriend, and I was looking to do something that justified my spending a lot of time hanging out with my friends, doing cool stuff, and creating opportunities to expand and challenge myself despite being very very sad. What's funny, and not in a "ha ha" way, is that I felt (and still feel!) like I had to create some large scale project that justified spending my time that way, as though just doing fun stuff couldn't or shouldn't compete in priority with work, career ambition, or sitting in bed for hours refreshing internet browsers. In order to feel like I wasn't wasting my time on something inconsequential it needed to be something with consequence. And so Collected Possibilities became a reality - part writing exercise and prompt, part social activity, part self improvement quest, and all designed to make me feel a lot better in a bad place.

And it did! At a time when my relationship was gone and my passion for theater was just starting to fray, working on the 300 was the most fun several weeks I've spent in recent memory, aside from the sadness of missing Kelly. It was a very positive way of dealing with that sadness, and that sadness really was the fuel that fired this blog. I haven't gone back to re-read Chapter 1, as it were, but from what I remember there were two or three major narrative strands that emerged over that first set of posts. One was my deep friendship with Christian Sullivan, my most consistent cohort on my adventures, and how lucky I was and am to have someone like him by my side on the good days and bad. The second was a story about a guy dealing with a pretty hard breakup in a unique way, and if you can read between the lines, getting back together with her after several months of growth on both ends.

That's right. We got back together, and after several rough months, we're at a better place than I can ever remember us being. I love her, she loves me, and we're a lot better at this whole 'being a team' thing.

That's a pretty great story!

Unfortunately, the casualty was this blog. And not only this blog, but the entire endeavor of the 300 before 30. Like Christian correctly predicted would happen, and tried to make me promise wouldn't, once Kel and I got back together the fuel went out of the fire and in pretty short order I stopped doing any of this. Once I wasn't actively sad, the idea of spending so much time trying to be happy just felt masturbatory. I was almost embarrassed to spend my time on writing this instead of creating art. I had more important things to focus on.

Quickly I went back to being hyper-focused on my career and that previous fraying led to burn out, and now here I am - in the biggest personal rut that I can remember. I'm totally burned out, and for the first time ever have no access to my passion or creativity. I'm in poor financial shape, terribly overweight and unhealthy, and suffering from the same level of procrastination that I used to in high school. That ended with me being kicked out of my house and getting a GED instead of graduating, so I'm not eager to repeat the journey. And with theater, my mistress of the last 8 years, no longer providing almost any kick, I need something new.

I started thinking about this blog.

I thought about the tagline at the top - "300 Adventures in Search of a Better Life."

That's pretty significant.
More significant than I've given credit in the past.

To live a better life.

Why is that not THE most important thing I'm doing at all times?

Why the embarrassment? Why the feeling of wasting time? Where has my tremendous ambition truly gotten me? I've accomplished a lot, I'm not denying that, but I am so far from where I want to be, and I'm starting to understand that to move to the next level I need to focus my attention in other areas while I recharge. A better foundation. So I'm going to own this challenge, and commit fully to accomplishing a better life one Adventure at a time.

For the immediate future Collected Possibilities is, if not my number one priority, then at least high up there. Maybe it's not the artistic project I've thought I should be working on, but I hope that both personally and for an audience it will turn out to be rewarding. And I very much hope that you'll join me in a few different ways:
  1. By reading, or sharing this blog with others who may enjoy.
  2. By picking one or many of these Adventures to join me on.
  3. By suggesting new ideas to add or replace to the list. It is still a fluid thing.
  4. By creating your own 300 list. There is nothing I'd love more than a number of people, each with their own set of challenges, that I can join you on - so that there is a whole community of people undertaking Adventures and chronicling them. It has helped me in hard times and I imagine it can help you as well. Let me know if you want help getting started.

A FEW HOUSE-KEEPING NOTES

  • You may notice that there are more than 300 things on the list right now. That's for a few reasons. A number of the challenges involve hooking up or sexual activities with different kinds of people. I'm, uh, kinda with someone at the moment, and I have no intention of breaking up with her anytime soon. So I have some alternates to do without removing the sex/dating stuff from the list. I'm also still replacing certain things, and the 300 page is a useful place to keep track of things. Finally, while there is a purity to the 300 as a set number (and one I respect) I also like the idea of a growing list of cool things. I think it will settle to a solid 300, but I want the best list, not the now list.

  • I got rid of "Review Every Comic Book You Own." After doing three I realized what a TREMENDOUSLY unrewarding burden that would be, and since it was my own suggestion I felt very comfortable removing it. I now have Heroic Endeavours for that kind of writing, and I encourage you to check it out if you want even more on Comics and Pro-Wrestling than you are likely to find here.

  • There are several catch up posts that will be coming up over the next few days that chronicle activities that happened over the last 6 months or so. So be on the lookout for those, and from there I'll start with new ones again.

Friday, August 19, 2011

#283. Do the 30 Day Song Challenge - Day 8


Day 8 - A Song That You Know All The Words To

In honor of being out here in Chicago for the wedding of my friend Daniel Strauss -

Spoont. - Everything a Teenybopper Movie Should Be

Back in High School my life was spent going to and playing basement shows and unitarian churches and Fort Reno and the Corner Kick. I can't imagine any other way to spend growing up than everyone I know being in a band and making music together and dancing all the time. It was awesome.

Spoont. was made up of some of my best friends. And regardless from that, I was their biggest fan and they were my favorite of all the local bands. Daniel Strauss, Jacob Mazer, Andy Freedman, and Ali Plotsky made music that I loved. That's pretty awesome when your friends make music you are a fan of by itself. I think Dan and Jacob are incredible songwriters and the chords and lyrics to this song brings me back to another time - but are still meaningful to me now. Spoont. is the band I want go back in time and be a part of.
And Teenybopper (along with Julia) was my favorite.

I can sing every word to Teenybopper, and it's my favorite song title of all time. The title is evocative of wanting our reality in our fantasy. The song is a back on forth of possibility and defeat, optimism and letting go.
And no one ever nailed it better than
I can't make these brain cells go much faster anymore.
I get that.

I will see all four of them this weekend, and you can rest assured I'll be singing this song out the car window on the 11 hour drive back to DC, with guitar chords blaring in my head.


Tuesday, August 16, 2011

put me to sleep


I do not believe in god.
I do not believe in fate.
I don’t believe in a lot of things.
But I have faith that I will know when I am in love and someone loves me.

Sometimes that is something I believe.

I have someone sometimes who I want all the time.
She’s asleep.

When she wakes up I don’t know if she’ll love me.
Some days she does, and some she doesn’t.
Most she doesn’t know.
It isn’t easy.

When she wakes up I don’t know if she’ll look at me with a soft smile and lit eyes and say ‘hi’, and gently pull me to her while she nestles back to sleep. I don’t know if she’ll look at me, feel nothing, and only kiss me because in the moment, that’s what’s easy.

I don’t know.
So I go to the bathroom and I throw up. I dry heave my anxiety until my mouth is filled with bile and my chest burns. I look at myself in the mirror, deep into my own eyes and say “no one will ever fight for you like this.”

But when I look at her next to me, sleeping in my bed - my god she’s in my bed.
Her hair is askew and she’s breathing lightly, her lip slightly curled and her skin soft like silk - she is so beautiful. More than my words can ever hope to say or convey. She’s so pretty. She’s so peaceful.
And she is here with me.
Even for one moment, one night, one memory – by her choice, again, she is here with me.
I love this woman like nothing I have known.
And in my heart, half the time in her eyes, I think she loves me.
She’s not sure, but I believe.

I do not believe in God.
But I have my faith.


Sunday, August 14, 2011

#283. Do the 30 Day Song Challenge - Day 7




Day 7 -A Song That Reminds You Of A Certain Event

Theater is a very ephemeral art form. It exists for a very brief time in the real world, and then only in the hearts and minds of the participants and audience. Film will last, music will last, writing and poetry and some sculpture all have that potential - but a theatrical performance has a much shorter shelf life as an actual thing. The individual pieces may live on - like the script, a costume, etc. And it may be recorded on video. But that doesn't really capture the experience - it's just not the same medium.
And so your body of work becomes a line on the resume, a series of memories, and hopefully the impact you and your work and the work of your colleagues and team mates have made on an audience and each other.

Closer is one of those shows I am glad I remember vividly and have triggers for.
It is my favorite script, my second show as a director at UMD and for The Weekday Players. It took hard work to make happen after a failed Off-Center bid, the arrogance to say we COULD do this show and to take it on ourselves to just do. It was the moment I knew I could be a director and an Artistic Director someday. I worked with people I love to create the best thing I had done to that point. It was FAR from perfect but it was one of the best times of my life. Hands down.

- Building the set with Christian until 3am, drinking in Tawes.
- Andrew Gerritsen becoming one of my best friends.
- Oren Benamor taking his acting skills to another level in one of the first transcendent actor/character relationships I was privileged to be a part of. A fist wrapped in blood, indeed.
- Brittany, Roni, and Amanda and the joy of working with them and growing with them.
- The strip club scene, with one pool of light and a real cigarette smoking - one of the coolest, sparsest visuals I've seen.
This was my first time I was like - "oh, I can do this."

And the sound design. I loved this soundtrack. Josh Grossnickle and I spent hours and hours going over songs. Only late 80s to Mid-90s british bands. There was a consistent sound and it grounded the piece. The Cure, The Smiths, Radiohead. It was the first time I truly worked to create a world in design as well as acting.

The song that stands out most from so many is
From the moment the drums start to snap, it will always make me think of our ephemeral production of Closer. The transition just before the bedroom scene between Roni and Amanda. Roni shirtless, Amanda in T-shirt and undies. Their love and vulnerability. The bed. The slap. "I don't love you anymore, goodbye."
What a great scene, what a great show, and a great group of people.


#221. Watch All of AFI's Top 100 Movies of All Time - Rocky


After our attempt at South Street Steaks, Christian and I came back to regroup over an AFI Top 100 film. Rocky felt appropriate for the day. I've always avoided Rocky thinking I sort of 'knew' what the movie would be like.

I was wrong - what a great film.
I can't say that I'm a fan of anything else Sylvester Stallone has done in his career, but this was really wonderful. His performance was top notch, the writing was hysterical and earned all the cheesy moments I thought WERE the film. It was a very different movie than I expected.

Watching this and Raging Bull so close together was really cool. Both are obviously boxing movies, but more than that, they seem to track men starting at the same place who go in the total opposite directions. Both begin as inner city bums hoping to be contenders, on the wrong side of the law but with a lot of promise. Deniro's character in Bull becomes a significantly worse person over the movie, where even watching his rise is really just watching his fall. Rocky grows as a person, illuminating his goodness and realistic expectations. When given a chance - he rises.

And he has the best conversation with a door you're likely to see on film.

I highly recommend watching with Christian as every time Burgess Meredith comes on screen you'll get a wonderful "Wagh! Wagh! Wagh! Come on Rocky, lets get the Batman! Wagh!"

Highly Recommended.
75 to go.