#282. Play Laser Tag in Suits

On Friday night it was time to become Legendary.

Perhaps you're not aware of Barney Stinson, Neil Patrick Harris' (the greatest entertainer of our generation) character on How I Met Your Mother.

He wears suits. He plays laser tag.
He is an idol to millions.

Let me show you.

+

=

Be Jealous.

In homage to Barney (and because it's awesome) Christian, Patrick Lord, and I went to XP Laser Sport in Laurel, MD to engage in some good old fashioned laser tag dressed to the nines. Patrick looked ready for a Jazz Club, Sully looked like a secret agent, and I looked like I was ready for a Bar-Mitzvah. The walls were lined with bad arcade games and memorobilia dedicated to past laser tag champions. Looking at the past stars of our sport I knew we could not compare with the skills of Greyskull or Deathwolf or CyberMcSweeney or whatever their names were. But we weren't just here for Laser Tag.

We were here for Blazer Tag.

We played two 15 minute sessions, and unfortunately our team lost both times. This due to an army of small children on the opposing team who clearly don't yet understand how to properly respect their elders by not creaming them in laser tag. Barnacle (or Patrick) was our team leader in points both games. He's a vet, so that's to be expected. In college he used to have an annual laser tag in suits competition every Valentines day. I did, however, tag one dude 118 times in one game. Even I feel that's excessive.

Sorry, seven year old.

Highlights definitely included the little kid who kept yelling "Superman!" everytime he nailed someone. I love that kid.

There was also a little guy who would walk up saying "I'm on your team!" whenever we were in spy mode (we played spy mode, yo), and was shocked that Christian picked up on it after the third time and shot him. This happened every time. There was also the 'Get Back' dude, who kept telling us to "get back", gun drawn, like we were in the wild west and he was protecting his trailmates crossing the creek. Everyone was legitimately impressed by our suits. We received many compliments. I think we even inspired the next generation.

It was awesome.

By the end we were DRENCHED in sweat. It doesn't look so bad in this picture until you see the one ring of dry cloth around my collar and realize what color the shirt is supposed to be.

Yeah, gross level sweat.

A hard fought battle over, we immediately strode next door to Hooters, walking in like conquering heros. Because if there was any doubt, let me put it to rest - being covered head to toe in sweat, wearing your sunday best, having just rocked laser tag and sitting at Hooters ordering a Dreamsicle is the classiest Friday night you can have.

Nailed it.

Building a Better Batmobile

So, I'm back.

I'm hoping not to leave this time.

When I started this blog close to a year ago I had just been dumped by my longtime girlfriend, and I was looking to do something that justified my spending a lot of time hanging out with my friends, doing cool stuff, and creating opportunities to expand and challenge myself despite being very very sad. What's funny, and not in a "ha ha" way, is that I felt (and still feel!) like I had to create some large scale project that justified spending my time that way, as though just doing fun stuff couldn't or shouldn't compete in priority with work, career ambition, or sitting in bed for hours refreshing internet browsers. In order to feel like I wasn't wasting my time on something inconsequential it needed to be something with consequence. And so Collected Possibilities became a reality - part writing exercise and prompt, part social activity, part self improvement quest, and all designed to make me feel a lot better in a bad place.

And it did! At a time when my relationship was gone and my passion for theater was just starting to fray, working on the 300 was the most fun several weeks I've spent in recent memory, aside from the sadness of missing Kelly. It was a very positive way of dealing with that sadness, and that sadness really was the fuel that fired this blog. I haven't gone back to re-read Chapter 1, as it were, but from what I remember there were two or three major narrative strands that emerged over that first set of posts. One was my deep friendship with Christian Sullivan, my most consistent cohort on my adventures, and how lucky I was and am to have someone like him by my side on the good days and bad. The second was a story about a guy dealing with a pretty hard breakup in a unique way, and if you can read between the lines, getting back together with her after several months of growth on both ends.

That's right. We got back together, and after several rough months, we're at a better place than I can ever remember us being. I love her, she loves me, and we're a lot better at this whole 'being a team' thing.

That's a pretty great story!

Unfortunately, the casualty was this blog. And not only this blog, but the entire endeavor of the 300 before 30. Like Christian correctly predicted would happen, and tried to make me promise wouldn't, once Kel and I got back together the fuel went out of the fire and in pretty short order I stopped doing any of this. Once I wasn't actively sad, the idea of spending so much time trying to be happy just felt masturbatory. I was almost embarrassed to spend my time on writing this instead of creating art. I had more important things to focus on.

Quickly I went back to being hyper-focused on my career and that previous fraying led to burn out, and now here I am - in the biggest personal rut that I can remember. I'm totally burned out, and for the first time ever have no access to my passion or creativity. I'm in poor financial shape, terribly overweight and unhealthy, and suffering from the same level of procrastination that I used to in high school. That ended with me being kicked out of my house and getting a GED instead of graduating, so I'm not eager to repeat the journey. And with theater, my mistress of the last 8 years, no longer providing almost any kick, I need something new.

I started thinking about this blog.

I thought about the tagline at the top - "300 Adventures in Search of a Better Life."

That's pretty significant.
More significant than I've given credit in the past.

To live a better life.

Why is that not THE most important thing I'm doing at all times?

Why the embarrassment? Why the feeling of wasting time? Where has my tremendous ambition truly gotten me? I've accomplished a lot, I'm not denying that, but I am so far from where I want to be, and I'm starting to understand that to move to the next level I need to focus my attention in other areas while I recharge. A better foundation. So I'm going to own this challenge, and commit fully to accomplishing a better life one Adventure at a time.

For the immediate future Collected Possibilities is, if not my number one priority, then at least high up there. Maybe it's not the artistic project I've thought I should be working on, but I hope that both personally and for an audience it will turn out to be rewarding. And I very much hope that you'll join me in a few different ways:

1. By reading, or sharing this blog with others who may enjoy.
2. By picking one or many of these Adventures to join me on.
3. By suggesting new ideas to add or replace to the list. It is still a fluid thing.
4. By creating your own 300 list. There is nothing I'd love more than a number of people, each with their own set of challenges, that I can join you on - so that there is a whole community of people undertaking Adventures and chronicling them. It has helped me in hard times and I imagine it can help you as well. Let me know if you want help getting started.

A FEW HOUSE-KEEPING NOTES

• You may notice that there are more than 300 things on the list right now. That's for a few reasons. A number of the challenges involve hooking up or sexual activities with different kinds of people. I'm, uh, kinda with someone at the moment, and I have no intention of breaking up with her anytime soon. So I have some alternates to do without removing the sex/dating stuff from the list. I'm also still replacing certain things, and the 300 page is a useful place to keep track of things. Finally, while there is a purity to the 300 as a set number (and one I respect) I also like the idea of a growing list of cool things. I think it will settle to a solid 300, but I want the best list, not the now list.

• I got rid of "Review Every Comic Book You Own." After doing three I realized what a TREMENDOUSLY unrewarding burden that would be, and since it was my own suggestion I felt very comfortable removing it. I now have Heroic Endeavours for that kind of writing, and I encourage you to check it out if you want even more on Comics and Pro-Wrestling than you are likely to find here.

• There are several catch up posts that will be coming up over the next few days that chronicle activities that happened over the last 6 months or so. So be on the lookout for those, and from there I'll start with new ones again.

#283. Do the 30 Day Song Challenge - Day 7

Day 7 -A Song That Reminds You Of A Certain Event

Theater is a very ephemeral art form. It exists for a very brief time in the real world, and then only in the hearts and minds of the participants and audience. Film will last, music will last, writing and poetry and some sculpture all have that potential - but a theatrical performance has a much shorter shelf life as an actual thing. The individual pieces may live on - like the script, a costume, etc. And it may be recorded on video. But that doesn't really capture the experience - it's just not the same medium.

And so your body of work becomes a line on the resume, a series of memories, and hopefully the impact you and your work and the work of your colleagues and team mates have made on an audience and each other.

Closer is one of those shows I am glad I remember vividly and have triggers for.

It is my favorite script, my second show as a director at UMD and for The Weekday Players. It took hard work to make happen after a failed Off-Center bid, the arrogance to say we COULD do this show and to take it on ourselves to just do. It was the moment I knew I could be a director and an Artistic Director someday. I worked with people I love to create the best thing I had done to that point. It was FAR from perfect but it was one of the best times of my life. Hands down.

- Building the set with Christian until 3am, drinking in Tawes.

- Andrew Gerritsen becoming one of my best friends.

- Oren Benamor taking his acting skills to another level in one of the first transcendent actor/character relationships I was privileged to be a part of. A fist wrapped in blood, indeed.

- Brittany, Roni, and Amanda and the joy of working with them and growing with them.

- The strip club scene, with one pool of light and a real cigarette smoking - one of the coolest, sparsest visuals I've seen.

This was my first time I was like - "oh, I can do this."

And the sound design. I loved this soundtrack. Josh Grossnickle and I spent hours and hours going over songs. Only late 80s to Mid-90s british bands. There was a consistent sound and it grounded the piece. The Cure, The Smiths, Radiohead. It was the first time I truly worked to create a world in design as well as acting.

The song that stands out most from so many is

Oasis - Live Forever

From the moment the drums start to snap, it will always make me think of our ephemeral production of Closer. The transition just before the bedroom scene between Roni and Amanda. Roni shirtless, Amanda in T-shirt and undies. Their love and vulnerability. The bed. The slap. "I don't love you anymore, goodbye."

What a great scene, what a great show, and a great group of people.

#221. Watch All of AFI's Top 100 Movies of All Time - Rocky

After our attempt at South Street Steaks, Christian and I came back to regroup over an AFI Top 100 film. Rocky felt appropriate for the day. I've always avoided Rocky thinking I sort of 'knew' what the movie would be like.

I was wrong - what a great film.

I can't say that I'm a fan of anything else Sylvester Stallone has done in his career, but this was really wonderful. His performance was top notch, the writing was hysterical and earned all the cheesy moments I thought WERE the film. It was a very different movie than I expected.

Watching this and Raging Bull so close together was really cool. Both are obviously boxing movies, but more than that, they seem to track men starting at the same place who go in the total opposite directions. Both begin as inner city bums hoping to be contenders, on the wrong side of the law but with a lot of promise. Deniro's character in Bull becomes a significantly worse person over the movie, where even watching his rise is really just watching his fall. Rocky grows as a person, illuminating his goodness and realistic expectations. When given a chance - he rises.

And he has the best conversation with a door you're likely to see on film.

I highly recommend watching with Christian as every time Burgess Meredith comes on screen you'll get a wonderful "Wagh! Wagh! Wagh! Come on Rocky, lets get the Batman! Wagh!"

Highly Recommended.
75 to go.

#88. Get Your Picture on Three Restaurant Walls - Fail

The day started with such promise. The sun was bright, the weather clear, and Jason Schlafstein and Christian Sullivan both had actual days off. On a weekend.

We had a plan. It was easy. We would go get our picture on a final restaurant wall, recover over an AFI Top 100 movie, and then go eat an obscure animal body part. Cross off three from the list in one day, nice and relaxed like.

So we made our way to South Street Steaks in my old stomping grounds of Quince Orchards to do the Cheesesteak Challenge. Two cheesesteaks? No problem.

When we got there, there were no photos on the wall.

That should have been our first warning.

We were assured that they still did the challenge. Not only would we get our picture on the wall, but a $50 gift card. Awesome.

But it wasn't just eat two cheesesteaks.

It was eat two Mis-steaks.

The Mis-Steak is a giant sandwich filled with steak, pepperoni, bacon, onions, three kinds of cheese, and most disgustingly french fries - all on a bun.

The rules were no bathroom breaks, no throwing up, no sharing, plate clean.

45 minutes.

The guy behind the counter laughed in our face basically. Said we didn't know what we were getting into. We asked did anyone else ever finish it? "Some woman," he said. "She didn't want her picture on the wall."

We could be The First on the wall. That's like double points.

We went for it. This wasn't a cheap buy in either.

I won't lie, I was intimidated. This was going to be painful. Christian was all business. We did air punches through the restaurant. We hit up the bathroom. We got ready.

And watched as they created two GIGANTIC piles of the most disgusting looking slop I have ever seen and poured them onto crusty rolls. These things were motherfucking huge. Like triple stuffed subs. The pepperoni and bacon felt under cooked, not crispy at all. A full order of fries chopped up into each pile.

We had made a huge mistake.

This photo doesn't do it justice...

The clock started. We grabbed forks. We were going to do this.

It was then that we learned the previous winner, that woman? Black Widow Sonya - professional eater. Gives Kobayashi a run for his money. We can eat, but we are no pros.

Fifteen minutes in I had barely made a dent. And it was DISGUSTING. The three cheeses in particular. The gamy bacon and 'pepperoni.' Ugh. If it was only beef and provolone I think I could have done it. Honestly.

But this was 5 lbs of utter artery clogging hell. And it didn't even taste good.

Still, Christian would not be deterred. Pride was on the line. We came for a photo.

We powered through.

Eventually Christian literally started getting food drunk. He still had a full sandwich and a roll left. While he was gone I decided to ramp it up. I would not disappoint. I went for a huge bite - and started dry heaving at the smell.

That's when I knew. Discretion was the better part of valor. There was NO WAY I would finish this. Forget whether or not I could (I couldn't) - I SHOULDN'T.

I was still feeling okay. Knowing I wouldn't get my photo, I just stopped. There was no reason to spend the rest of the day feeling disgusting for no reason.

As Sarah Davis says - life is too short to eat food that doesn't taste good.

Sully was mad. He wanted to finish. He tried. He tried so hard. And got one all the way down. HE GOT ONE. But it was just too much. Men were not meant to eat this.

The Black Widow had done it in 15 minutes.

Defeat.

Before we left, Christian went to the bathroom to throw up. He really went the distance on this one.

We both said we were okay, but we felt it. Defeated. Vanquished. Unsuccessful.

As we left, it started to rain. We walked to the car with the water dripping down our faces, the sky overcast.

Okay God, we got the message.

I honestly don't know if I'll ever eat a cheese steak again.

#88. Get Your Picture on Three Restaurant Walls - 1 & 2

Years ago, back in high school, Potbelly Sandwich Works was not nearly as ubiquitous as it is today. I know there was a location in DC, and there may have been others I wasn't aware of, but the center of the franchise (at least to me) was located at Rockville Town Center right next to the Regal Cinemas. For a very brief period my two best friends (Jacob Cunningham and Ami Newman-Paul) and I were regulars. It started when my band, Serpentina, played an acoustic set of covers and originals upstairs in the tiny Potbelly singer area. I'm pretty sure we started flirting with one of the counter girls. And suddenly we were hanging out at Potbelly. It was no Silver Diner in terms of lifetime significance, where in high school you could walk in any day and any time and find someone you knew. It wasn't even the Burger King at Travilah Square, where we would escape to when I was grounded because it was in walking distance. It was a hiccup, and I can't imagine hanging out at a Potbelly now.

But I know that for a brief time we were there often enough for a picture of the three of us to end up on the wall.

And then we moved on.

So that's one down.

According to the challenge, I have to get two more pictures on restaurant walls. So tonight Christian and I went to take the Cheeburger challenge at Cheeburger Cheeburger.

Or as they put it "You take a pounder, we'll take a picture."

In any other context I never want to take anything called a pounder. But here it means finish a one pound burger and get your photo on the fat ass wall of fame.

I can do that.

This is not difficult for a man of my size and skill.

I ain't gonna lie - these were some pretty big ass burgers. And they were good. I went with the A1, Chipotle Mayo, Roasted Red Peppers, Sauteed Onions combo. Sully went for a classic with jalapenos and pepper jack. There was an option for peanut butter. I can honestly say in my life I have never thought to put peanut butter on a hamburger. #293 maybe?

Please no.

We were smart though, and only went for the burger. No milk shake (even though they are AWESOME here - they put actual cheesecake mix in their cheesecake flavored milkshakes, graham cracker crust in the pies flavors) or fries or rings (also amazing). Just straight burger action. So not only were we obviously victorious, neither of us got the itis. I was full, but clear headed. Not groggy, like I get way too many times after eating. And that was very nice, even though I had actual cravings for desert.

That's not a good sign.

I thought he was only taking a picture of the empty baskets...

We didn't realize they were going to make an announcement to the whole restaurant, so that was awkward. But we got what we came for - a photo of us with the giant stuffed burger we named Carlos up on the wall.

We won't be regulars, but you can still come in and see us any time you want.

Best friends, and a burger.

#129. Walk Around On An Airplane Runway

Last night Sully and I decided to go after the runway walk.

Fully expecting that we'd have to sneak into somewhere to do so, I was actually pretty nervous on our drive to College Park airport. I'm all for Adventure, but I'd rather not have the FBI come after me (as the warning sign on the fence handily told me they would to anyone who damaged or stole from the planes, and I assume anyone they think were going to do so as well.) But the main office was open and we went in and explained our situation, asking for an escort to the runway and a chance to take a picture or two. The guy was really cool and politely but firmly told us there was no way in hell that was going to happen. After 9/11, a strict restricted fly area has been extended around the DC area (including CP Airport). In order to get access to the runway you need to go through a three tiered permission and background check system involving two of the big three area airports.

And you need a pilot's license.

Unlikely to happen soon.

He did tell us where the nearest airports outside of the restricted area were, and intimated which would be the best one to go to. So we headed off towards Tipton airport, just between Bowie and Laurel - with a warning not to get hit by any planes. (It is still rarely in use.)

We got there as it was nearing twilight, pulling up the dirt road and parking near the old hangars and abandoned planes. There was no gate or fence, just an open field with a long runway surrounded by old warhorses of machines.

Pilot Heat reporting for duty

Across the way a herd of dear were grazing just next to the pavement. They ran away as we approached, except for one who just seemed annoyed he or she had to leave to follow the group. It was hot, but not muggy. The sun was just starting to set as we looked down the vast expanse of black and green. It was really beautiful. Absolutely peaceful, and head clearing.

We took the long walk all the way up and down the runway and I was filled with joy.

This was awesome.

My 'Beautiful Day' Moment

I feel like we found an open secret in the area, this cool place to just go every so often and walk around, relax, and clear your mind. Worthwhile for being something and somewhere different and new.

And I'm a plan the best 'picnic on a runway' date for some lucky girl that ever been seen. Just you wait.

As long as we don't get hit by a plane.

I'm a pink plane, just looking for a hangar...

About six people will get that reference, but it's so true.

#221. Watch All of AFI's Top 100 Movies of All Time - Raging Bull

I checked in with Christian Sullivan, who gave me this one, for the official ruling. We're going with AFI's Tenth Anniversary List that they did in 2008, not the original 1998 list.

So tonight Seamus Sullivan and I got started by watching Raging Bull - #3 on the list and one of the many I've not seen yet. I came away with a few thoughts:

- I finally get how good Deniro is/was. I've obviously never seen any of his truly defining roles before.

- For a guy who can often be thought of as a one dimensional parody of himself, Joe Pesci really rocked it in this one.

- The background/music track was WAY louder than the dialogue track so I'm pretty sure we missed a 5th of the movie.

- Despite that it did a great job of building tension and got me really into it despite a lot of initial misgivings.

- Joe Pesci is either the greatest or worst Wingman of all time. The pool scene, in particular.

- I had no idea that the Jersey Shore stereotype is basically a direct descendant from these kinds of characters until watching this movie.

- Holy shit Joe Pesci just tried to straight up murder that dude with a car door!

- Did you fuck my wife? is a pretty great payoff.

So now the score reads:

CITIZEN KANE	1941
THE GODFATHER	1972
CASABLANCA	1942
RAGING BULL	1980
SINGIN' IN THE RAIN	1952
GONE WITH THE WIND	1939
LAWRENCE OF ARABIA	1962
SCHINDLER'S LIST	1993
VERTIGO	1958
THE WIZARD OF OZ	1939
CITY LIGHTS	1931
THE SEARCHERS	1956
STAR WARS	1977
PSYCHO	1960
2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY	1968
SUNSET BLVD.	1950
THE GRADUATE	1967
THE GENERAL	1927
ON THE WATERFRONT	1954
IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE	1946
CHINATOWN	1974
SOME LIKE IT HOT	1959
THE GRAPES OF WRATH	1940
E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL	1982
TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD	1962
MR. SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON	1939
HIGH NOON	1952
ALL ABOUT EVE	1950
DOUBLE INDEMNITY	1944
APOCALYPSE NOW	1979
THE MALTESE FALCON	1941
THE GODFATHER PART II	1974
ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST	1975
SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS	1937
ANNIE HALL	1977
THE BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI	1957
THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES	1946
THE TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE	1948
DR. STRANGELOVE	1964
THE SOUND OF MUSIC	1965
KING KONG	1933
BONNIE AND CLYDE	1967
MIDNIGHT COWBOY	1969
THE PHILADELPHIA STORY	1940
SHANE	1953
IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT	1934
A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE	1951
REAR WINDOW	1954
INTOLERANCE	1916
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING	2001
WEST SIDE STORY	1961
TAXI DRIVER	1976
THE DEER HUNTER	1978
M*A*S*H	1970
NORTH BY NORTHWEST	1959
JAWS	1975
ROCKY	1976
THE GOLD RUSH	1925
NASHVILLE	1975
DUCK SOUP	1933
SULLIVAN'S TRAVELS	1941
AMERICAN GRAFFITI	1973
CABARET	1972
NETWORK	1976
THE AFRICAN QUEEN	1951
RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK	1981
WHO'S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF?	1966
UNFORGIVEN	1992
TOOTSIE	1982
A CLOCKWORK ORANGE	1971
SAVING PRIVATE RYAN	1998
THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION	1994
BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID	1969
THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS	1991
IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT	1967
FORREST GUMP	1994
ALL THE PRESIDENT'S MEN	1976
MODERN TIMES	1936
THE WILD BUNCH	1969
THE APARTMENT	1960
SPARTACUS	1960
SUNRISE	1927
TITANIC	1997
EASY RIDER	1969
A NIGHT AT THE OPERA	1935
PLATOON	1986
12 ANGRY MEN	1957
BRINGING UP BABY	1938
THE SIXTH SENSE	1999
SWING TIME	1936
SOPHIE'S CHOICE	1982
GOODFELLAS	1990
THE FRENCH CONNECTION	1971
PULP FICTION	1994
THE LAST PICTURE SHOW	1971
DO THE RIGHT THING	1989
BLADE RUNNER	1982
YANKEE DOODLE DANDY	1942
TOY STORY	1995
BEN-HUR	1959

76 to go...