I've lost entire music collections several times in my life. The first was in camp, when I forgot two CD binders and never saw them again. I have all the songs I downloaded off Napster back in high school on a computer at my parents' house - but the computer is so old it doesn't have a usb port or the power to access the internet (only a zip drive). Most recently I suffered the one/two punch of accidentally deleting my DC++ program, which had the unexpected side effect of deleting all the files stored in my DC++ library, and then that hard drive completely crashed (losing the i-tunes library too). My old Ipod was waterlogged in a flash flood. My current music collection is probably the least representative of me that it has ever been - mainly just whatever was interesting out of Max Nova's collection.
I haven't taken the time to replace it. Maybe because it feels like too much work to deal with the heartbreak of losing it all again (the DC++ library loss in particular kind of broke me). Maybe because Spotify, Pandora, and You Tube have made it so that I can listen to pretty much anything I want anyways. Largely because, and I'm not happy about this, I've become the sort of person who just lives in whatever situation I'm in whether it makes me happy or not because it's easy to just be complacent. Because music is less a substantial part of my life than it used to be.
Or maybe music is just less a part of me because I have gotten complacent with all of the above.
Regardless, even a few years ago I used to be a huge music collector and listener, especially during my DJ days. Songs have an incredible power to transport me back to a specific place and time, and as weird as this may sound, sometimes when those songs get lost into the ether so do my memories. So I was pretty stoked a few months ago that when I finally cleaned my car (which is needing round 2 soon) I also found two binders full of CDs. These were my B and C list binders, so most of my favorite full albums are gone. But they were filled with old mixes that had been saved - some I made, others that were made for me. The oldest are probably "Radio Cures" by Zia Hassan, given to me during my senior year at Wootton and which I've been rediscovering lately (Highlight Track: Sponge - Molly) and the "Akbar Health Mix" given to me by Akbar Vaiya in senior year health class, also at Wootton, and was my first exposure to Coheed & Cambria (Highlight Track: Mad at Gravity - Walk Away, because that song is now inextricably linked to this mix and I still remember it).
The oldest I had made?
"The TRUE Alternative"
Which is A). A rather presumptuous title.
and B). A reference to 99.1 WHFS, which was still going strong, and meant to be a general overview of what I was listening to at the time (which was very HFS influenced, I'm sure).
I know this mix was made in 2004 because I was living with Jacob Cunningham and his mom at the time, during the period after I got back from the Ranch and before I started at Maryland. I got home in December of 2003 and started UMD in fall of '04. I was only at Jacob's for a maximum of 7 months because I spent at least a month at Elan's when I returned. It's crazy to me that I was only there for such a short time when that period is packed with memories. And I know that this mix was made then because I have the clearest memory of a night when Jacob's most recent ex-girlfriend of the time invited herself over for dinner - telling Jacob his mom invited her, and his mom that Jacob invited her. Neither did. They stood in the kitchen, the three of them, not talking, the most awkward dinner ever being made. And so to help lighten the mood I remember playing this album on the DVD player in the living room, running around singing "Irish Blood, English Heart" at the top of my lungs like a lunatic, all in the name of somehow keeping the peace.
I have no idea what I was hoping to accomplish.
This mix was made well before the refinement (ha!) of my musical taste in college, but definitely after my initial set of tastes had been set by the blend of Much Music in Canada and Jacob Mazer in High School. Now that I'm older and a bit snobbier, I thought I'd have 2012 Jason go back and rate the longevity quality of 2004 Jason's premiere mix and see how 2004 Jason's taste stands up to todays standards.
Track 1. The Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Art Star
This is a super quirky choice for an opener, and a totally unexpected surprise. I would never have remembered this song if it wasn't for this mix. The Yeah Yeah Yeahs were just breaking big then with Maps, but this is from an earlier album. I know that Andrew Stiles recommended it to me and is directly responsible for it being on the CD, so that's a nice little connection this song has. It totally holds up, and I may even like it more now than I used to since I'm slightly more accepting of screaming than I used to be. It's a little slight, but I'm happy to see this mix start off with something that wasn't from the radio. Maybe I had a little more musical depth at the time than I give myself credit for.
BEST LYRIC: "I've been working on a piece that screams of sex and desperation. I've been screwing on the tracks of abandoned train stations."
RATING: A-
Track 2. The Von Bondies - C'mon C'mon
The Von Bondies are a perfect band to ride around singing to in the car, and their most recent single made my 2010/2011 equivalent mix, so it's kind of fun to see they haven't changed a bit. Catchy, straight ahead alt-rock. This is a fun song - reminiscent of the time and yet not completely dated. It was also the theme song to Rescue Me, and I binged on the first 4.5 seasons of that show, so that's another little connection that adds some resonance. This is not going to win any "most profound song ever" contests, but for a 2004 driving mix this is a solid choice that I still enjoy. Well played so far, Jason.
BEST LYRIC: "With my teeth bite down I can see the blood of a thousand men who have come and gone. Now we grieve 'cause now its gone. Things were good when we were young."
RATING: A-
Track 3. The Killers - Somebody Told Me
Oh man. I don't know what happened to their music after, but The Killers' first album is a total jam. I absolutely loved Hot Fuss. It was the kind of album that made me visualize images and ideas listening to the songs - ideas that turned into concepts for graphic novels and theater pieces, none of which made it to life. But that's the kind of music I like, the kind that inspires ideas. Hot Fuss is this weird noir New Wave with a murder mystery sub plot that is weaved into it but never resolved because they didn't include the third song of the trio.
This mix was made before I heard the whole album, and I know this because the first time I ever heard Mr. Brightside I sat dumbfounded in my apartment, replaying that song over and over obsessed with how someone had written Killing Me, only so much better, down to some of the same lyrics. I first heard Somebody Told Me playing over a speaker at HFStival and on only one or two listens it was a complete ear worm that I knew would be a hit. It has my favorite rhyme in English (Maybe, Baby), and is just a catchy catchy song. The version on this mix is clearly some kind of demo and not the released album version.
I still dig singing to this song.
BEST LYRIC: "Pace yourself for me. I said maybe, baby, please."
RATING: A
Track 4. Ash - Orpheus
The first mis-step of the collection, but not a huge one. After seeing an amazing set by Ash at 9:30 Club (opening for Saves The Day) and being completely into Free All Angels, I was ready and primed to want to love everything Ash put out. Unfortunately I just never dug Orpheus the way I wanted to, and in '04 I was pushing it. It's not a bad song, and catchy enough, but it's pretty middle of the road. Definitely the first song so far I'd skip on an impatient day. Vampire Love became my stand out track off of Meltdown and I still rock that one out occasionally (and it would probably get a higher rating), but I'm happy that the first song I'm not super into is still a fairly obscure one and not a truly bad or mediocre radio hit.
BEST LYRICS: "And every day I think about her, but if I look back I'm gonna turn to stone."
RATING: B-
Track 5. Black Eyes - Some Boys
Now this song is awesome - good job Jason '04. Black Eyes are a now defunct DC band, and the only show of theirs I ever saw was also their last one. They passed out the drums to the audience to play, we rushed the stage and turned it into a giant dance party. It was an event. This is still the only song of theirs I really know well, but it's fantastic. Evocative lyrics that are at turns hot and dirty or uncomfortable and distancing. Strange melodies and a slightly unsettling time signature. Sing along moments and yet also atonal, and it's so angry without fervor. Music like this makes me proud of DC. Best track on the collection so far, and shows how into the D-Scene my friends were all throughout High School. We grew up on basement shows the way other people grew up on beers and house parties. Not only a song that brings me back to a very specific time, but one I still like as much (and maybe appreciate more) today.
BEST LYRICS: "Some boys lie, and some boys pay to stay high." OR "Sweet smoke slides down my throat."
Rating: A+
Track 6. Interpol - PDA
This is a track I like more now than I did then. I remember feeling meh on this song back in the day, and I must have included it because it was new and I was trying it out for the theme. Over the years it's become my my favorite Interpol song (narrowly beating out Evil). It's a solid song that I get excited hearing. It goes on a bit long, and I could see it moving out of favor again if I ever overplay it, but in this moment I'm totally digging it.
Six tracks in and I'm pretty impressed by 2004 Jason's material. Some Boys and PDA could both make a mix I was making today, depending on mood and theme.
BEST LYRICS: "But you're so cute when you're frustrated, dear. Yeah, you're so cute when you're sedated. Oh dear."
RATING: A
Track 7. The Afghan Whigs - My Enemy
There is no band that embodies everything I want out of music more right now than The Afghan Whigs. I saw them in concert the other night and one of the only flaws with the show was waiting all night for this song to be played, only for it not to be. I was that looking forward to it.
I want to inject their music straight into my bloodstream and get high off of it like a drug because I feel like there is still a filter now between the sound and my brain and my heart. The music, the lyrics, the power, pain, lust, sex, and passion all swirl in me and I want to feel it more. I want increase my capacity to feel to better experience this music.
This song was the first song I ever played on WMUC, the very first track I ever played on the radio. It's savage and powerful, with lyrics like biblical poetry about love and betrayal and revenge. It is subtle and in your face at the same time, with everything I want out of rock guitar driving forward.
This song holds up.
I can only find a live version, but the studio track is on the mix. I'm also shocked that I can find a studio version of Black Eyes on You Tube, but not The Whigs.
BEST LYRICS: "I hear the whispers baby, if what they say is true. They say I killed a brother, to fall in love with you."
RATING: A+
Track 8. The Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Maps
This song was a huge hit, and at the time it really affected me and a lot of other people. Over the years it's lost some of it's power, but not all of it. Sparse and spare, it comes down to one line -
Wait.
They don't love you like I love you.
BEST LYRICS: "Wait. They don't love you like I love you."
RATING: A
Track 9. Finger Eleven - One Thing
Oy. This is embarrassing. This song is... not very good. It's the definition of empty musical calories. Pleasant enough on first listen but that is it. There is no substance. It says nothing - musically or lyrically. It's a joke.
I was into Finger Eleven's first single from before they ever broke into America (First Time) and if that song had made it to the mix I probably would have given it nostalgia credit, and some points for being a genuine "Jason used to like this song" given it's obscurity otherwise. I may even still like it if I heard it again. But this was the definition of mainstream schlock and I hope I only included it out of Canadian loyalty. First major let down of the mix.
Also, the One Thing he's talking about remains a mystery to this day, much like what Meatloaf WON'T do for love. Because you will not find out in this song.
BEST LYRIC: Nothing. This song literally says nothing.
RATING: D
Track 10. The Postal Service - Sleeping In
Man, I totally dug The Postal Service album, and probably don't bust it out enough as background music these days. This was a pleasant surprise because it's not one of the three Postal Service songs that have stayed in the forefront of my consciousness (District Sleeps Alone Tonight, Such Great Heights, Clark Gable) and it's fun to see that something else was high in the rotation at one point. On the one hand I think there is a reason this track didn't stick around in the same way as the others - it doesn't catch me quite as strongly. But it is a perfect example of 2004 Jason surprising 2012 Jason with a nice little track that had otherwise fallen out of view and a reminder to revisit an old album I used to know.
BEST LYRIC: "Last week i had the strangest dream where everything was exactly how it seemed. Where there was never any mystery on who shot John F Kennedy. It was just a man with something to prove. Slightly bored and severely confused. He steadied his rifle with his target in the center, and became famous on that day in November."
RATING: B+
Track 11. Modest Mouse - Float On
This is another perfectly acceptable song by a very good band on an album that I used to spend a lot more time with, but haven't touched in years. Float On has unfortunately become so over played that it's hard to enjoy on it's own merit. It's "that Modest Mouse song everybody knows" more than a song I actually listen to. Eminently listenable, but it feels surprisingly dated for a song that has actually stayed consistently in popular rotation.
BEST LYRIC: "Well, a fake Jamaican took every last dime with that scam - it was worth it just to learn from sleight-of-hand."
RATING: B
Track 12. Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out
Very similar to Float On, except for some reason I still enjoy it a lot more. It's catchy as all hell and I always think I'm going to skip it and then get hooked in by the opening. Franz Ferdinand was much the same as The Killers in creating a first album that really created images in my head. This isn't my favorite track from the album (either Auf Achse or The Dark of the Matinee) but it makes me want to go back and listen to it because some of those songs are so good. They have this weird sense of being just on the edge of perversion, but ride that line so it's always a little suspect and you wonder if you're the one making things dirty or if they are. The playful sense of sexuality is a fun contrast to Some Boys' bristling and more frustrated take on some of the same subjects. Take Me Out is one of FF's most straight ahead songs, but it's a fine appetizer.
BEST LYRIC: "So if you're lonely, you know I'm here waiting for you."
RATING: B+
Track 13. Muse - Time Is Running Out
We are deep into the "modern rock singles of the day" portion of our mix and a string of bands that I dig, but with song choices that proved to be entry ways into their catalogues and not personal favorites. Still, Muse are a really interesting band and this is far from a bad song. It's a bit more slight than complete face melters like Hysteria or Stockholm Syndrome, and mainly suffers more in comparison that for what it is. Still I remember liking it a lot more even just a few years ago, whereas right now I'm a bit bored with it. Perfectly acceptable song, but an uninspired choice. Maybe in a few years I'll come around again and this will be a nostalgiac blast. For now it's a 50/50 skip song.
BEST LYRIC: "I wanted freedom, bound and restricted. I tried to give you up, but I'm addicted."
RATING: B
Track 14. Switchfoot - Meant To Live
Not good, Jason. Not good.
I know I liked this song more before I knew just how Christian Rock Switchfoot actually are and all those religious undertones became head smackingly overt, but even without that knowledge this is a tremendously mediocre song. It came out when I was at the ranch and wasn't as immediately bad as Trapt - Headstrong or other Nu-Metal junk that was clogging up Alt Rock radio at the time and so I had an affinity for it then, but still, this is a boring song. I'm also at least 3 to 4 months off the ranch at the point this mix is made and was already listening to The Afghan Whigs so I see no excuse.
That intro riff is still pretty fun though, and it goes a long way to disguising the rest of the song I guess.
BEST LYRICS: "Dreaming about Providence and whether mice or men have second tries."
(Best lyric doesn't mean good lyric, neccesarilly)
RATING: C-
Track 15. Lostprophets - Make a Move
I remember being really into this song back in the day, now it's an artifact of the time that doesn't hold up. It's pretty generic. I have memories of really rocking out to this song, but listening now it doesn't have any of the fire I once attributed to it. It's a standard early 2000s radio single. I'm much more likely to enjoy a middle of the road rock song than a mediocre rap or country track because of my general aesthetics, but I won't pretend this is anything more than what it is. It was a pleasant surprise because I forgot about the song, but on listening I have no real emotional attachment. A few extra points for going beyond "first popular single" and just a bit deeper into the album, but honestly Last Train Home probably holds up better.
It's interesting to see what you stay attached to and what you grow past. There are other generic hits that I still love to this day, whereas this is just a memory. Good to be reminded, though.
BEST LYRIC: There's nothing going on here, lyrically.
RATING: B
Track 16. Morrissey - Irish Blood, English Heart
This is it! This is the song! This is what I ran around singing at the top of my lungs like a mad man through Jacob Cunningham's house that fateful Friday afternoon, jumping on couches and screaming in some hairbrained scheme to attract all the attention to myself and away from the profound awkwardness of a meal spiced with rejection and sadness! This is the centerpiece of the collection, the only song (other than My Enemy) that I knew would be on here going in.
Clearly, I'm a fan.
This was actually my introduction to Morrissey, from before I dove headfirst into the Smiths. It's not nearly as hard rocking as I remember in my head, much more a deliberate driving march forward than an all out attack, but it's Morrissey - for him this is like double bass pedals and Adventure Metal. It's also still Bad Ass. His stiff no nonsense delivery, his complete burial of the entire English political structure, grim vigor and determination with a stiff upper lip and boiling blood? All with ssweet guitar riffs?
Yeah, the pace doesn't infuse me with the same level of frenetic passion that the musical equivalent of an X Division match does, but this is a solid technical ground and pound with some heat behind it.
BEST LYRIC: "Irish blood, English heart - this I'm made of. There is no one on earth I'm afraid of."
RATING: A
Track 17. The Cure - Just Like Heaven
I clearly had no idea how to end this mix. Don't get me wrong, Just Like Heaven is a classic and an amazing song, but I can clearly see '04 Jason wanting this mix to end on a sentimental note and putting The Cure at the end without really earning it. For a Hail Mary play it's not a bad call, and I'm pretty sure I've inserted The Cure into the slosing slot a number of times for that very reason, but it sticks out pretty strongly here. This mix is far from a cohesive collection as is (but it has potential), and a different song would have tied things together better.
Still, this is Just Like Heaven - one of the most romantic songs of all time. A major part of Blankets by Craig Thompson, my favorite Graphic Novel ever. I don't ever not enjoy hearing it. This is good stuff. It's just not the right fit here.
BEST LYRIC: "You. Soft and only. You. Lost and lonely. You. Just like heaven."
RATING: A- (for placement)
OVERALL
The first half of this mix is rock solid, and then it goes a bit downhill only to pick up at the very end. But as a time capsule this is a pretty fun and easy listen into what 2004 Jason was digging, and a lot of it holds up. It's a bit mired in "this is what the radio is playing literally right now," but there is the foundation for a solid mix in here. Art Star, Some Boys, PDA, My Enemy, and Irish Blood all go together very well. A different Muse song (probably Hysteria) would be a very welcome addition. Auf Acshe by Franz Ferdinand could go in the second to last spot. Maps should close it out, to bookend with The Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Maybe one or two more tracks, and keep it under 17 songs.
But overall 2004 Jason did pretty well. I can see where I was and where I am now, at least as it relates to mainstream alternative music.
Well played, Buddy.
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